It's a Toaster!

I may be single, but I have 155 kids...my Spanish students.
I may not have biological children...but today I got a toaster.
It's not a boy. Not a girl.
No.
It's a toaster!!!

So, today I said goodbye to 3 of my 6 Spanish classes. And after an entire semester of hard work and disciplining, I decided to bring my guitar to work, pop some popcorn and play a video of everything we've done in class.

It turned out to be a greater success than I had imagined. And a few of my students surprised me with their various gifts.

Zack with his kind and thoughtful note.
Carson, who lingered after school just to hear me play and sing one more song.
A handful of kids who told me thank you and that they'd miss me.
And then there was Bryen.

Bryen is the kid who makes strange faces at me while I'm explaining a task to the class. Bryen is the kid who draws a circle with a X through it on every white board in my room. (I erase them frequently). Bryen is the kid who invented "the game". (Basically if you think about the idea of "the game" or a game or the word combination "the game", then essentially you lose the game.) And mostly, Bryen is the kid who would blare this voice recording on the loudest setting of his speakers when we were in the computer lab that yelled, "It's a toaster!"

It happened twice.

It was because of this that all semester I would hear students from his class say this phrase at random moments ALL THE TIME. Giggles would follow ceremoniously. Then I started seeing this phrase written on my white board when I wasn't looking, or on homework assignments for me to read. This one time I made the mistake of handing them an assignment with an array of pictures of household items on them, including... you guessed it... A TOASTER! You can imagine what these papers were covered in when they were turned in to me: large circles and arrows pointing to the toaster, and that coined phrase, "It's a toaster!" in capitalized, bold letters.

So, as you can see, Bryen has made himself quite the celebrity in this one Spanish class. Sometimes when he raises his hand, I am afraid to call on him. You never know if he's going to contribute to the lesson or throw it off entirely. Well, after playing my first song today, up went Bryen's hand, and what did he say?

"I have something for you."

The next thing I see emerging from his backpack is a shiny, new toaster. He hands it to me. Next come bread, a butter knife and some jam. Laughing inside, I held up the gift, and surrendering said, "It's a toaster."

I believe in LANGE

- Oh great... another talk about lange - droned Aubree.
- Lange? - I snickered
- Ha ha! Lange?! No! Change, I said change! - retorted Aubs.
- Lange. I love lange! I’m all about lange.- me
-Your face is lange! –you guessed it

The stake high councilman’s talk was langed forever after that. But, I guess that’s what happens when you sit next to your best friend in Stake Conference. I’ll have to review my notes to remember what exactly I got out of that meeting, other than a good back scratch and a new nonsense word. But we’ll save that for another post on another day. Today, I want to talk about lange.

Sick of that word yet?

Well it just so happens that THAT word, if there were ever a word that you could roll the past 3 years of my life up into, would be the word. So, sick of it or not, I guess I’d better get used to it. And while we’re on the topic, why don’t we take a look at my “recent langes” list.

RECENT LANGES:

Plan	Langed Plan
Live in Provo all summer	Live in England all summer
Get a tan	Live in England all summer
Finish Independent Study course in Provo	Finish it in a week and a half to go to England
Chill with Aubree	Skype Aubree
Spend summer with friends	Spend summer with adorable nephews and sister
Get some boring job to make a couple of bucks	Read tons of books, play with babies and go to Spain
Finish and distribute my cd in Provo	Finish cd quickly and distribute in England
Play my guitar ALL THE TIME	Play bro-in-law’s guitar ALL THE TIME

So, as you can see, not all the langes are bad langes. And though I will miss chillin’ with Aubree and adding to our endless list of inside jokes, I will start adding again to that list that my sister and I had to put down when she moved to England. I miss that list. And most of all, I miss my family. (Did I mention I get to go to Spain?!)

Hasta el agosto, Provo. ¡Te extrañaré!

And this little piggy went "Wee Wee Wee" all the way home!

Teaching.
It's a test of one's ability to multitask.
A way of proving to one's self that no matter how many things you're already carrying, it's always possible to carry one more.

So, the other morning...not day but 6 am at the teacher's butt crack of dawn, I found myself walking out the door with a backpack jammed full and zipped tight on my back, and a purse, paper/file container, oatmeal bowl, water cup and keys all in my hands. I wasn't sure how I was going to open and close the door to the garage. But then I discovered the incredible utility and strength of my pinky finger. With my one little pinky...and mind you the other 4 fingers were already being used to carry or hold something, I opened and shut the door, and I managed to even push the garage opener button on the wall!

Never underestimate the power of "The Pinky!"

"SKA-DOOSH!"

The Power of One

One of my friends brought this video to my attention today. Watch it.

I love my high school students already

"My friend totally made me this fire airbender necklace out of wood. I love it!"
"This class is so boring."
"Senorita Aranda, do you actually LIKE working here?"
My name's not Nate, it's Bryce."
"Conjugar? What does that even mean? I never understand what he's saying. Ugh!"
"Senorita, que tienes anos?.... "Cuantos anos tengo?"
"When are YOU going to start teaching us? Today? Tomorrow? Soon?"

So, it's been a week and a half, and I'm already loving these high school kids. They are so hilarious that I find myself constantly trying not to laugh at things they say and do. On Wednesday I officially get to take over the class. They become MINE! I'm having a blast thinking about real (vs. imaginary) students when I plan my lessons.

Christmas music, oh how I love thee...

Since December hit...wait, make that November, a certain local radio station has been playing Christmas music. Sick of being brainwashed with Katy Perry, Pink, Bruno Mars and Sarah Bareilles and their most recent hits played over and over again, I have found myself listening to that station on a fairly regular basis. And in so doing I've noticed how much calmer I feel when I'm singing along to my favorite Christmas songs. They carry a message of hope, of love, of faith.

Sunday was a Christmas music festival for me. I had the privilege of singing several beautiful and touching Christmas hymns and arrangements with my ward choir and stake choir. My calculated Christmas hymn singing time on Sunday summed a total of 5 hours! FIVE! And it was entirely rewarding.

One of the most simple yet most spiritual and touching songs for me was "Silent Night."As I reflected on the birth of the Savior, I sensed the sacredness of that night. I am so grateful for all that He has done for me. His birth and life on this earth comprise the true hope that I have in my heart that I can make it home one day to live with my Heavenly Father again. I know that Jesus Christ made it possible for me to repent and become clean of every sin, to become whole despite my many weaknesses, to be healed from the many difficult challenges and trials I continue to experience.

Here are a few videos that help me to feel the Christmas Spirit:
CLICK THE PAUSE BUTTON ON THE SIDEBAR TO TURN OFF MY BLOG MUSIC-->

 

Remember the reason for the season. Spend time serving others, spend time with family, spend time pondering on the birth and the life of the Savior, Jesus Christ. I know he Lives. I know he loves us. I'm so grateful for all he has done for me and for my loved ones. Merry Christmas Everyone!

Lamericks

I had some time to kill today while waiting for a meeting in the JFSB. So, I decided to take a little stroll down the 4th floor. And I began reading a bulletin board that read: Lamericks. Feel free to add your own lame limerick to the board. As I perused the hand-scratched limericks, I felt inspired to write a few of my own.

Liverick:
Have you heard of Old Man Quiver
Who lives down by the river?
They say that his van
Is stocked full of cans
Of preserved onion and liver!

Smellerick:
There once was a foot with six toes.
The sixth one resembled a nose.
It sniffed in a shoe,
And then turned quite blue
From smelling a smell that it loathed.

Limericks...a wonderful way to waste time and still feel semi-productive.

The Paper Cuts Were Worth It!

Living off student loans and any job that fits between classes, I've worked many random jobs during my time at BYU. Here's a list:
-Deseret Towers custodian (These dorms no longer exist...that's how long ago I was as freshman. I cleaned S Tower. I chose not to live in the dorms my freshman year, but ironically I ended up cleaning them.)
-Elementary school speech tutor (The little kids I worked with were adorable. I loved teaching this one little boy named Remington how to say the letter "X". The whole "ecks" sound was a daily challenge for weeks. Then one day, he got it!)
-ESL teacher for Koreans using Skype (I now love S. Korea. And most if not ALL S. Koreans love Americans. They must be some of the sweetest people on earth.)
-Bindery worker (I worked in a gigantic paper factory for 3.5 yrs. My favorite task was jumping in the huge paper bin to smash down the shreds of paper and make room for more...word to the wise: empty your pockets before entering paper bin. You just might lose your tiny ipod and spend precious time diving and searching through the horrific mass of paper to find it.)
-EFY counselor (I loved it!)
-Door to door pest control saleswoman (This was the longest summer of my life. I discovered quickly that I am not into selling people...nor am I a huge fan of being sold by a salesman. If I want it, I'll buy it. Don't pressure me.)
-Call center representative (I called people and signed them up for online college. I also spoke to several angry people who did NOT want to go to college.)
-Sales company translator/claims/collections/dispatch/customer service person (This is the job I just put in my 2 weeks notice at today! Let's just say I'm not a fan of sales companies.)

And so...after years of working these types of jobs...I am incredibly excited to begin my student teaching in January. I received my assignment yesterday: Riverton High School in Riverton, Utah. It is there that I will embark on my journey to becoming a Spanish Teacher! I love teaching. I love Spanish. And I love working with the youth. I know it will be a challenge, but I'm up for it. With all this random experience under my belt, I can handle anything! Bring it on!

Facebook...virtue or vice?

One of my friends recently deleted his Facebook account. He didn't say why. And it's caused me to wonder what would happen if I deleted MY Facebook account. Let's examine the pros and cons of Facebook:

Pros:
Facebook is great for...
-Networking
-Sharing pictures
-Inviting friends and family to important and recreational events/activities
-Keeping in touch with people.

Cons:
-It's addictive for many people.
-Can become a time waster.
-Gives people access to your information (granted, there are security settings for preventing this)
-People can post ugly pictures of you. (this one really isn't too important, yet it happens frequently)
-It's an easy way for people to digitally stalk you. (ex-boyfriends/girlfriends, creepers, other people)

That's all I can really think of for now. I guess I can add to that list later. Feel free to comment and I'll add yours to the list too.

So, what good things would I be missing out on if I were to delete my Facebook Account?
-Status updates that tell me how my friends/family are doing.
-I'd probably miss a lot of peoples' birthdays.
-People might find it more difficult to contact me since most have become so dependent on Facebook.

I know these aren't really life-altering things. But, they do affect my social life. It's kind of nice to see how my friends who have moved away are doing.

In conclusion, I think I will keep my Facebook Account for now.

Good Things Are Happening!

After months of worrying about financial aid for Winter semester, today I opened my email to find a delightful surprise: a Pell grant that covers tuition entirely and a subsidized Stafford loan that I can live off of for the next 4 months. This means I won't have to work while student teaching! Yay!

Also, my friend Ty Trejo in my ward invited me to open for his show on December 15th! So, I'll be playing a song I wrote earlier this year on my guitar, and as I sing, Ty will be joining in on the piano. He also invited me to sing some harmony vocals to his original songs. So, I am incredibly excited about this. I love music. And I love singing. It's nearly impossible for me not to feel happy, even on the crummiest of crummy days, if I'm singing to music I love.

As far as the cd recording goes, I am currently wrapping that up, now that I can afford to. I have half of the vocals completed now! I'm actually hoping to have the vocals all recorded within a week from now. Fingers crossed. I was going to go in this morning, but my voice was hoarse. So, Thursday we shall try again. My goal is to have the cd mixed and mastered before Christmas.

And lastly, I am going home for Christmas!!! Yay! I miss my family. There's just something about being with family for the holidays that makes life ten times more meaningful. Working at a job where I speak with strangers everyday on the phone. Living far away from all relatives, Utah,...when everyone I love lives in England, Massachusetts (thank goodness for spell check, b/c I definitely did not spell that correctly on my first try...my second try being me clicking on the spell check's correct spelling option), Texas, Oklahoma and so on. And spending most of my time worrying about MY life. My car, my rent, my job, my schooling, my bills, my crushes (or the lack thereof), my everything. Buying a plane ticket tonight with my mom on the phone suddenly shifted all my thoughts from me to my family. And thank goodness for that.

So, this past year, and especially these past few months have been rough for me. But, things are now looking up. Good things really are happening!

Let Us Be Writers!

Are we losing the ability to express ourselves in writing? Just look at the upcoming generation of youth. With all the texting that goes on and its associated acronyms, and with all the hours spent in front of a screen, be it a laptop, a TV, a cellphone, an I-pod, a kindle, an I-pad, are they dooming themselves to a life of horrible communication skills? I mean I think of the time spent in front of these screens as time NOT spent interacting with other people. As an important form of communication, writing is an art that needs to be nurtured, developed, encouraged.  And, I'm sorry but Facebook just doesn't cut it. When I say writing, I'm not talking about typing up a one sentence blurb or comment on how much you love Justin Bieber, or how disappointed you are that you're going to miss watching your favorite reality TV show tonight. No Sir, I am talking about writing about thought provoking ideas. I am talking about developing the ability to analyze and decipher the world in words, be they typed up, written down, or even orally expressed.

There is something beautiful that happens during the whole process of writing. --We were talking about this at FHE last night at Brother Tucker's house. (He's the first counselor in my single's ward bishopric)-- You see, when you take the time to write down what you're thinking, experiencing, or feeling, you somehow, during the whole process of putting it all in words, come to understand better what is actually taking place, what you are actually thinking, experiencing or feeling. You, in the act of writing, are forced to truly clarify your version of reality for yourself.

It's always a funny experience for me to try writing in my journal about something or someone I am mad at. As I'm getting those childish, one-sided, and often selfish feelings in black and white, I see them for what they are:     childish... one-sided... and... selfish. And I begin to realize more what it is that I need to fix.

Also, as we write about our most spiritual and meaningful experiences, they are captured in black and white as a reminder, as a reference for us to return to in the future. How many amazing experiences have I had with Heavenly Father that I have failed to record? I guess I'll never know...I can't remember them all.

So, this is my goal...I want to start writing more. I want to keep this blog more updated. I want to write in my journal every night. I want to record those special and spiritual experiences as soon as they happen. I know that through writing, I can also open up another line of communication between myself and God. As I write my way through problems and questions, I know He will help guide me to an answer.

What Scares You?

I love the motto: "DO SOMETHING EVERYDAY THAT SCARES YOU!" I wonder what the world would be like if everyone lived by this motto. I imagine for some people, this might create a problem. But, I would hope that at least for most of us, this would mean getting out of our comfort zones, making new friends, becoming more open minded by trying new things. So, given this introduction, let me stray a little and tell you a story.

My freshman year at BYU, I lived off campus at Liberty Square. There was this guy that I saw all the time practically everywhere I went. And one day on my way to campus, I found myself walking just a few steps behind him. So, I sped up a little to catch up with him and strike up a conversation. You can never have too many friends, right? Plus, I did think he was kinda cute.

I introduced myself to him, and he told me his name; and then... he kind of blew me off. I can't remember if he just didn't help me keep the conversation going or if he sped up and walked ahead of me. Maybe he just wasn't feeling well that day and didn't feel like talking. Or perhaps he was in a hurry because he was late for class. But, regardless, in my freshman insecurity, I took it personally. And the next time I saw him, I could feel the awkward vibes generating. And by that time I had forgotten his name. (This happens to me frequently. It's a curse.) All I could remember was that it started with a D. Was it Derrick? Daimen? So, I didn't bother approaching him again. Besides, he didn't seem to notice I was there. I know. So sad. Poor little freshman me.

So in the years that roll by, I see this guy at nearly every intramural soccer game I play at BYU. I see him at random stake events, parties, races. I ran the Red Rock Relay a little more than a month ago. He was there! That guy whose name starts with a D that blew me off when I was a freshman. (That's what I began calling him in my mind.) And now I start seeing him every Wednesday at stake institute! What the crazy?

After pointing him out to my roommates and telling them the silly "history", a month rolls by. And finally, I get up the nerve to approach this guy, yet another time. It's been some 7 years since the last time I "talked" with this kid. So, I grab my friend Sarah and start walking over to him. He starts heading out the door, not because he saw me though. I'm not sure if this guy even knows I exist at this point. So, we follow him into another room, and he slips into the bathroom. Well, I had made it that far. So I decided to wait for him to get out. Luckily some other friends walked by during the five minute wait, which provided the perfect atmosphere for what I did as soon as I saw him walk by.

Dajavu set in as I heard myself spout off a practically identical greeting from 7 years earlier, "Hey! Don't I know you from somewhere? I feel like I see you everywhere."And, I still am not sure why this happened, but as soon as he whirled around to look at me, his face turned bright red, and he said, "Umm, yah. Actually. I feel like I met you a long time ago." And I'm wondering, "Did he recognize me? Did he remember that awkward walk to campus 7 years ago? Has he ever noticed that I seem to show up to practically everything he goes to?" Then we made a few friend connections from my freshman year, and introduced ourselves to each other yet again.  I found myself telling him about some of the events I've seen him at, worried that I'm beginning to sound like a stalker. (Who knows what might have been going through his head at this point) But he was actually really nice and friendly this time. I guess we've both matured a bit in the past 7 years.

And I told him, "I just think we should be friends, since I see you everywhere." He agreed. I went on, "In fact, the next time I see you, I am definitely going to say 'hi'." And he responded, "No, I am going to say hi to you first, Charla."

And so, there ya go! I conquered a silly little fear, I made a "new" friend, and I found out the kid's name again. I'll admit it too, I felt kinda ridiculous going out of my way like that just to say "hi." But, It was actually quite the empowering experience. I doubt he had any clue what that meant to me, to become friends with him. In all reality, It meant that I decided not to allow my life to be governed by fear, by little things that "scare" me.

So, what scares you? Whatever it is, I encourage you to conquer that fear. Feel empowered!

By the way, his name is Dustin.

Words speak LOUDLY.

What do you say?
Out loud, what do you say?
In bold articulated words,
What tangles do you weave?
What sunshine do you spread?
What do you say?

About me, what do you say?
Do you paint me well?
Do you love me in words,
Even in my absence?
What do you say?

About yourself, inside your head,
What do you say?
Do you speak of your beauty?
What do you say
To yourself in the mirror?
What do you say?

About your enemy, what do you say?
Do you cartwheel on his name?
Do you speak with your hate?
Do you speak with YOUR pain?
And what about his;
What about his pain?
And about his name,
What do you say?

What do you say?

I Like Rollercoasters?!

"JAMIE'S riding the Texas Giant, aren't YOU, Charla?" said my 7-yr-old older brother, challenging me as I stood looking up and trembling at the realistic implication of that name.

Rolling it over in my 5-yr-old mind, TEXAS GIANT didn't quite match up with my idea of fun. So, on that day I made a decision, a very wise decision (in my opinion) to stay with Mom on the safe, nailed-to-the-ground bench just outside the waiting line. And while my best friend Jamie, my brother, sister and dad all rode the rickety monster, Mom and I shared some of that incredible, sticky, expensive, theme park ice cream. It was our little secret.

A year later though, I'm proud to say, I did begin riding scary roller coasters. I rode the Flashback, the Shockwave, and, you guessed it, the Texas Giant! I remember how scary that first climb always feels.

Tucked into your seat by a heavy plastic bar, the cart slowly creaks up the track, ascending the terrifying hill that soon will be bowing to Gravity's powerful pull. And once you do finally get to the top, there's a slight moment where the cart stops.

It's almost as if it's waiting for Gravity to yell up, "Ok, let 'er rip! I'm ready for ya down here!" And then the creaking starts again: creak, Creak, CREAK, CREAK! CREAK! CREAK! And Zoooooom! Down you go! Every part of you, except your stomach...

Now as a 25-yr-old, I feel like I'm slowly cranking one notch at a time up a huge hill that's leading me to unknown wonders. What is that descent going to be like once I reach the top? Why is this hill taking so long to climb? What kinds of loops and sideways twists am I headed for? All these questions pop in and out of my mind as the cart creaks steadily up the track. Creak. Creak. Squeak. Creak... The anxiety growing.

And isn't that life?

Take my current situation, for example: The roller coaster of Unemployment. Sound scary? Daring? Out right crazy? Ha! If only we could choose ALL the roller coasters life takes us on. It's like being blindfolded while you're waiting in line, and then suddenly you find yourself strapped in and headed for the most insane ride of your life. At that point, you have two options: You can either cringe through the whole experience, squeezing your pried eyelids as tightly shut as possible, indenting your chin permanently into your chest while loosing all feeling in your white-knuckled hands, OR smile, laugh, and throw your hands up to really enjoy the ride. At least that's the way it feels sometimes.

But I think about how my mother knew I wasn't ready for the Texas Giant when I was five. She didn't force me to ride it; in fact, she lovingly helped me still enjoy my theme park experience even though I wasn't quite ready for the big, scary, roller coasters. Likewise, I am positive that even though I'm not sure what awaits me on the Unemployment roller coaster, my Heavenly Father would not have put me in line for this ride if He knew I wouldn't be able to handle it. Sure I might lose my stomach a few times, and I might even have some ups, downs and crazy loopty-loops, but eventually the ride will end, and I'll carry on victorious, having conquered another one!

One victorious ride is all it takes to gain the confidence you need to ride it again and again. After that initial success, you think to yourself, "Ha! I can do this. This? Pa-lease! Give me something new, something more challenging. I can take it!"

So, who knows? Perhaps this whole unemployment business is helping prepare me for greater roller coasters ahead. All I can do for now is smile, laugh, throw my hands up and REALLY enjoy the ride! 

Click here to experience the Texas Giant!

Utah Bound

So, I suppose I'm one of the strangest Texans a non-Texan could meet. Today my roommate, Cali, asked me about my long-term life plans, and if I wanted to return to Texas to live out my life one day. She was shocked when I told her that I'd be entirely happy if I never had to live in that hot, humid climate again. Now don't get me wrong, I do love the TexANS there, but I'm not infatuated with TexAS like people expect me to be, you know...being a born and raised Texan myself. So, call me weird, but I am actually quite happy with Utah's dry climate right now. I love the mountains here. I love the cool breeze that I can still enjoy if I choose to go running at high noon in August. I love the healthy culture here. Seeing tons of people outside running and exercising all the time motivates me to do the same. And more than anything, I love that I feel this is where I'm supposed to be right now. Utah.

Now that's another thing that makes me odd. I was originally planning to student teach in Houston this semester, but a month before I was going to leave, I felt that I should pray and reconsider my decision to move there. And Heavenly Father helped me realize that He needs me still in Utah for now. So, here I am! My decision to stay was made so close to student teaching that my BYU professor in no way would have been able to find me a student teaching placement in Utah for this semester. So, I am deferring for a semester in order to work and save up the money I need to live on during my student teaching. And, I will be able to student teach somewhere here in Utah come January, and I'll graduate in April!!!

And believe it or not, so many things have fallen into place for me since I made the decision to stay in Utah. My roommates probably wouldn't agree with that, having seen me apply for a gazillion jobs in the past two weeks. But, the fact that I'm rooming with these girls is a miracle. They are the cream of the crop. I look up to each of them, and I'm constantly learning from them. I already love them like sisters, and they are simply amazing people. I'm close to finishing my cd I'm recording right now. That's a goal I've had for a while now that is finally coming together. I've been able to reevaluate my personal goals here and take charge of my life in little but important ways. I feel close to the Lord and I feel that I am moving in the right direction. And there are simply moments when I notice that I feel entirely at peace with who I am becoming, where I'm at in life, and where I am headed.

I know that for most people taking 6 yrs to complete an undergraduate degree seems crazy. But, you know, I changed my major half way through to something I really love. I love teaching, and I love Spanish! Put 'em together and waddaya get?: A major that I am passionate about. Not to mention, my previous major was English teaching, and the job market is looking much more promising for Spanish than it is for English, which is a comforting, reassuring reality for me. I feel that adding an additional 2 years to my graduation plan was well worth it. Besides, I've heard that many people have been going on to graduate school upon obtaining their undergrad simply because they can't find a suitable job in their field of study. Six years, eh. I've enjoyed the journey, and I've learned from some incredible professors at this university.

The closer I get to graduation, the more gratitude I feel for my BYU experience. I love the Spirit you feel on campus, the dedicated buildings. I love the social aspect that is woven into everything. I love how safe I feel here. I love the incredible life-long friends I've made during my time here. I've met people here who have impacted my life in unmeasurable ways. And more than anything, since I came here, I feel that I have grown in positive ways as a person. I can look back and see the way I've grown into adulthood. At least, I hope I have. I still have a long ways to go, but I can tell I'm better than I was before BYU.

So, on Tuesday I start working as a customer service personnel for "Costume Craze!" During this semester I'll get my last GE credit taken care of via Independent Study, SFL 100. I'll save up some moolah for an exciting Winter semester of student teaching. I'll create some awesome memories with my roomies. I'll finish my cd. I'll run some races. And, come to think of it, I should start donating blood again. So, I'll save some lives too!

Did you follow all of that?! We went from Texas pride, and the lack there of in my case to blood donation. This is what happens when I start a blog and then decide not to post for 4 months. My apologies. I'll work on that.