What Scares You?

I love the motto: "DO SOMETHING EVERYDAY THAT SCARES YOU!" I wonder what the world would be like if everyone lived by this motto. I imagine for some people, this might create a problem. But, I would hope that at least for most of us, this would mean getting out of our comfort zones, making new friends, becoming more open minded by trying new things. So, given this introduction, let me stray a little and tell you a story.

My freshman year at BYU, I lived off campus at Liberty Square. There was this guy that I saw all the time practically everywhere I went. And one day on my way to campus, I found myself walking just a few steps behind him. So, I sped up a little to catch up with him and strike up a conversation. You can never have too many friends, right? Plus, I did think he was kinda cute.

I introduced myself to him, and he told me his name; and then... he kind of blew me off. I can't remember if he just didn't help me keep the conversation going or if he sped up and walked ahead of me. Maybe he just wasn't feeling well that day and didn't feel like talking. Or perhaps he was in a hurry because he was late for class. But, regardless, in my freshman insecurity, I took it personally. And the next time I saw him, I could feel the awkward vibes generating. And by that time I had forgotten his name. (This happens to me frequently. It's a curse.) All I could remember was that it started with a D. Was it Derrick? Daimen? So, I didn't bother approaching him again. Besides, he didn't seem to notice I was there. I know. So sad. Poor little freshman me.

So in the years that roll by, I see this guy at nearly every intramural soccer game I play at BYU. I see him at random stake events, parties, races. I ran the Red Rock Relay a little more than a month ago. He was there! That guy whose name starts with a D that blew me off when I was a freshman. (That's what I began calling him in my mind.) And now I start seeing him every Wednesday at stake institute! What the crazy?

After pointing him out to my roommates and telling them the silly "history", a month rolls by. And finally, I get up the nerve to approach this guy, yet another time. It's been some 7 years since the last time I "talked" with this kid. So, I grab my friend Sarah and start walking over to him. He starts heading out the door, not because he saw me though. I'm not sure if this guy even knows I exist at this point. So, we follow him into another room, and he slips into the bathroom. Well, I had made it that far. So I decided to wait for him to get out. Luckily some other friends walked by during the five minute wait, which provided the perfect atmosphere for what I did as soon as I saw him walk by.

Dajavu set in as I heard myself spout off a practically identical greeting from 7 years earlier, "Hey! Don't I know you from somewhere? I feel like I see you everywhere."And, I still am not sure why this happened, but as soon as he whirled around to look at me, his face turned bright red, and he said, "Umm, yah. Actually. I feel like I met you a long time ago." And I'm wondering, "Did he recognize me? Did he remember that awkward walk to campus 7 years ago? Has he ever noticed that I seem to show up to practically everything he goes to?" Then we made a few friend connections from my freshman year, and introduced ourselves to each other yet again.  I found myself telling him about some of the events I've seen him at, worried that I'm beginning to sound like a stalker. (Who knows what might have been going through his head at this point) But he was actually really nice and friendly this time. I guess we've both matured a bit in the past 7 years.

And I told him, "I just think we should be friends, since I see you everywhere." He agreed. I went on, "In fact, the next time I see you, I am definitely going to say 'hi'." And he responded, "No, I am going to say hi to you first, Charla."

And so, there ya go! I conquered a silly little fear, I made a "new" friend, and I found out the kid's name again. I'll admit it too, I felt kinda ridiculous going out of my way like that just to say "hi." But, It was actually quite the empowering experience. I doubt he had any clue what that meant to me, to become friends with him. In all reality, It meant that I decided not to allow my life to be governed by fear, by little things that "scare" me.

So, what scares you? Whatever it is, I encourage you to conquer that fear. Feel empowered!

By the way, his name is Dustin.

Words speak LOUDLY.

What do you say?
Out loud, what do you say?
In bold articulated words,
What tangles do you weave?
What sunshine do you spread?
What do you say?

About me, what do you say?
Do you paint me well?
Do you love me in words,
Even in my absence?
What do you say?

About yourself, inside your head,
What do you say?
Do you speak of your beauty?
What do you say
To yourself in the mirror?
What do you say?

About your enemy, what do you say?
Do you cartwheel on his name?
Do you speak with your hate?
Do you speak with YOUR pain?
And what about his;
What about his pain?
And about his name,
What do you say?

What do you say?