I Like Rollercoasters?!

"JAMIE'S riding the Texas Giant, aren't YOU, Charla?" said my 7-yr-old older brother, challenging me as I stood looking up and trembling at the realistic implication of that name.

Rolling it over in my 5-yr-old mind, TEXAS GIANT didn't quite match up with my idea of fun. So, on that day I made a decision, a very wise decision (in my opinion) to stay with Mom on the safe, nailed-to-the-ground bench just outside the waiting line. And while my best friend Jamie, my brother, sister and dad all rode the rickety monster, Mom and I shared some of that incredible, sticky, expensive, theme park ice cream. It was our little secret.

A year later though, I'm proud to say, I did begin riding scary roller coasters. I rode the Flashback, the Shockwave, and, you guessed it, the Texas Giant! I remember how scary that first climb always feels.

Tucked into your seat by a heavy plastic bar, the cart slowly creaks up the track, ascending the terrifying hill that soon will be bowing to Gravity's powerful pull. And once you do finally get to the top, there's a slight moment where the cart stops.

It's almost as if it's waiting for Gravity to yell up, "Ok, let 'er rip! I'm ready for ya down here!" And then the creaking starts again: creak, Creak, CREAK, CREAK! CREAK! CREAK! And Zoooooom! Down you go! Every part of you, except your stomach...

Now as a 25-yr-old, I feel like I'm slowly cranking one notch at a time up a huge hill that's leading me to unknown wonders. What is that descent going to be like once I reach the top? Why is this hill taking so long to climb? What kinds of loops and sideways twists am I headed for? All these questions pop in and out of my mind as the cart creaks steadily up the track. Creak. Creak. Squeak. Creak... The anxiety growing.

And isn't that life?

Take my current situation, for example: The roller coaster of Unemployment. Sound scary? Daring? Out right crazy? Ha! If only we could choose ALL the roller coasters life takes us on. It's like being blindfolded while you're waiting in line, and then suddenly you find yourself strapped in and headed for the most insane ride of your life. At that point, you have two options: You can either cringe through the whole experience, squeezing your pried eyelids as tightly shut as possible, indenting your chin permanently into your chest while loosing all feeling in your white-knuckled hands, OR smile, laugh, and throw your hands up to really enjoy the ride. At least that's the way it feels sometimes.

But I think about how my mother knew I wasn't ready for the Texas Giant when I was five. She didn't force me to ride it; in fact, she lovingly helped me still enjoy my theme park experience even though I wasn't quite ready for the big, scary, roller coasters. Likewise, I am positive that even though I'm not sure what awaits me on the Unemployment roller coaster, my Heavenly Father would not have put me in line for this ride if He knew I wouldn't be able to handle it. Sure I might lose my stomach a few times, and I might even have some ups, downs and crazy loopty-loops, but eventually the ride will end, and I'll carry on victorious, having conquered another one!

One victorious ride is all it takes to gain the confidence you need to ride it again and again. After that initial success, you think to yourself, "Ha! I can do this. This? Pa-lease! Give me something new, something more challenging. I can take it!"

So, who knows? Perhaps this whole unemployment business is helping prepare me for greater roller coasters ahead. All I can do for now is smile, laugh, throw my hands up and REALLY enjoy the ride! 

Click here to experience the Texas Giant!

Utah Bound

So, I suppose I'm one of the strangest Texans a non-Texan could meet. Today my roommate, Cali, asked me about my long-term life plans, and if I wanted to return to Texas to live out my life one day. She was shocked when I told her that I'd be entirely happy if I never had to live in that hot, humid climate again. Now don't get me wrong, I do love the TexANS there, but I'm not infatuated with TexAS like people expect me to be, you know...being a born and raised Texan myself. So, call me weird, but I am actually quite happy with Utah's dry climate right now. I love the mountains here. I love the cool breeze that I can still enjoy if I choose to go running at high noon in August. I love the healthy culture here. Seeing tons of people outside running and exercising all the time motivates me to do the same. And more than anything, I love that I feel this is where I'm supposed to be right now. Utah.

Now that's another thing that makes me odd. I was originally planning to student teach in Houston this semester, but a month before I was going to leave, I felt that I should pray and reconsider my decision to move there. And Heavenly Father helped me realize that He needs me still in Utah for now. So, here I am! My decision to stay was made so close to student teaching that my BYU professor in no way would have been able to find me a student teaching placement in Utah for this semester. So, I am deferring for a semester in order to work and save up the money I need to live on during my student teaching. And, I will be able to student teach somewhere here in Utah come January, and I'll graduate in April!!!

And believe it or not, so many things have fallen into place for me since I made the decision to stay in Utah. My roommates probably wouldn't agree with that, having seen me apply for a gazillion jobs in the past two weeks. But, the fact that I'm rooming with these girls is a miracle. They are the cream of the crop. I look up to each of them, and I'm constantly learning from them. I already love them like sisters, and they are simply amazing people. I'm close to finishing my cd I'm recording right now. That's a goal I've had for a while now that is finally coming together. I've been able to reevaluate my personal goals here and take charge of my life in little but important ways. I feel close to the Lord and I feel that I am moving in the right direction. And there are simply moments when I notice that I feel entirely at peace with who I am becoming, where I'm at in life, and where I am headed.

I know that for most people taking 6 yrs to complete an undergraduate degree seems crazy. But, you know, I changed my major half way through to something I really love. I love teaching, and I love Spanish! Put 'em together and waddaya get?: A major that I am passionate about. Not to mention, my previous major was English teaching, and the job market is looking much more promising for Spanish than it is for English, which is a comforting, reassuring reality for me. I feel that adding an additional 2 years to my graduation plan was well worth it. Besides, I've heard that many people have been going on to graduate school upon obtaining their undergrad simply because they can't find a suitable job in their field of study. Six years, eh. I've enjoyed the journey, and I've learned from some incredible professors at this university.

The closer I get to graduation, the more gratitude I feel for my BYU experience. I love the Spirit you feel on campus, the dedicated buildings. I love the social aspect that is woven into everything. I love how safe I feel here. I love the incredible life-long friends I've made during my time here. I've met people here who have impacted my life in unmeasurable ways. And more than anything, since I came here, I feel that I have grown in positive ways as a person. I can look back and see the way I've grown into adulthood. At least, I hope I have. I still have a long ways to go, but I can tell I'm better than I was before BYU.

So, on Tuesday I start working as a customer service personnel for "Costume Craze!" During this semester I'll get my last GE credit taken care of via Independent Study, SFL 100. I'll save up some moolah for an exciting Winter semester of student teaching. I'll create some awesome memories with my roomies. I'll finish my cd. I'll run some races. And, come to think of it, I should start donating blood again. So, I'll save some lives too!

Did you follow all of that?! We went from Texas pride, and the lack there of in my case to blood donation. This is what happens when I start a blog and then decide not to post for 4 months. My apologies. I'll work on that.