TMFH: Analogies and Metaphors

I come up with the most profound  analogies late at night. Once I compared my stress to gasping for air and pushing against walls while being stuck inside a small glass square slowly filling up with water. (I promise not all my analogies are depressing.)

Should've read the label

Tonight I accidentally bought a small box of vegan corndog bites. I even baked them for 17 minutes in the oven! (as opposed to microwaving them) Unfortunately my patience was NOT rewarded. Biting into that nastiness helped me decide definitively that I will never go vegan, EVER. (not that I really needed any true convincing before this incident) Just know, while masticating that mass of foux veggie meat, all I could think of was how much I would give to be eating a plate full of beef corndog bites. Needless to say, the entire abomination went immediately into the garbage.

In my defense, I was operating on 3 hrs of sleep due to my late night date with the Hobbit. And in my attempts to find something yummy but semi-healthy, I grabbed the bites with the healthy label stamped into the cardboard. I thought perhaps they were baked instead of fried.

So what we've learned from this is:

Never go shopping when you're sleep deprived.
Always read the label.

TMFH: TV

I really don't watch much of it, but when I do it sucks me in. It's kind of nice when you find a good show, but at the same time, it's also incredibly addictive. So, just as a heads up, I mostly avoid TV for my own good. But don't worry, I don't consider it evil altogether leading me to banish it entirely from my home.

TMFH: Yo mama!

If yo mama all up in that grill, she probably won't like me.

Translation: If your life is ruled by your mother making decisions for you, she won't like what I have to say about that. Any woman who still believes it is acceptable to control and manage her children's lives after age 18, is by definition delusional. And though delusional people are sometimes entertaining, they are not fun to be related to, especially when they yo mama. Can you say control freak? No gracias.

TMFH: Patience

Do you ever feel like you'll never achieve perfection in patience?

I do on a daily basis.

We all have different trials to go through, but all of mine seemed to be linked through God wanting me to learn to be more patient. I hope to be patient enough to find you. I've waited this long.

I can wait longer. :)

TMFH: Pet Peeves

Come on. We all have them. And if you're going to live with someone, it's good to know what might drive them up the wall if repeated time and time again.

It's simple. I call it common courtesy. But to save you the trouble of reading my mind, just know if I am in a room with the door shut, I don't mind you coming in. But when you leave, please shut the door behind you. It is closed for a reason, usually so I can think and block out distractions.

TMFH: Heaven in a cup

Smoothies.

My biggest personal hit is the blueberry, raspberry, peach, pineapple blend with a little somethin' somethin' secret. Homemade. These are so addictive and amazing that I often crave them over icecream, which is saying a lot.

TMFH: Long days = much squawking

Today was looooong for a caged animal like me.

By the time I was released back into the wild tonight, I wasn't sure how to behave. Driven mad by professional development and collaboration, I felt like flying away to freely squawk into the wind all the wild imaginations of my mind. "Performance and Proficiency are the same! They are the same! The saaaame!"

Still caged though, I sat in my car thumbing through the numbers instead. With i-pod temporarily ceased and desisted, I concluded yet again that the radio is devoid of all good music, clicked it off, and drove home in raging silence.

Upon entering habitat, I joyfully shed my clothes, my suit, my costume. And now I huddle here refuged and sequestered from the adult world covered in feathers, peeping through the colors of my childhood.

I listen. Yes. I hear a
"Squawk!" ha ha! Yes!
"Squawk!"
With each squawk, I feel a surge inside. Delightful. Wonderful!
"SQUAAAAAAWK! Ha ha ha!"

TMFH: Soccer makes me happy

After an undesired four month hiatus, I played an indoor game tonight, and I realized yet again that when I play soccer, I am happy. It's not only an incredible outlet for my energy, aggression... yes I am human... and competitive nature. But it leaves me high on endorphins and fuels my desire to accomplish things in my life. It's that powerful. Please encourage me to keep playing for as long as my body will allow.

TMFH: Bubble Baths

I sometimes enjoy lavishing myself with a warm bubbly soak. It's lovely to sink under the water and listen to your heartbeat or simply just to hear nothing and think for a while.

TMFH: Phone chats

I will definitely be impressed by you if you can hold your own over the phone. Tonight I called up a guy I have never met, and he kept me laughing for more than two hours. We both didn't seem to want to hang up. It was likely one of the most engaging conversations I have ever had with a complete stranger. Whether or not this goes anywhere, just know I was impressed, and I'm definitely excited to chat with this fellow again sometime soon. :)

TMFH: Beef Jerky

Three words: Ralph's Packing Co. This small company in Oklahoma produces "Mexican Bandits" Beef Jerky, the most incredible beef jerky ever created. I can guarantee that once you've tried this, all other beef jerky will be ruined for you. Somehow my dad discovered this particular brand, and I love it. It's delicious, spicy, addictive and only available in Oklahoma. So, we might be sending money to my dad in the future to get us some of this goodness. (Yes, I am eating it right now as I am typing this. SO GOOD!)

TMFH: I speak Spanish

Since I spend the majority of my day speaking Spanish with my students, sometimes I'm not sure which language I'm thinking or speaking in. So, beware. It would be incredibly convenient if your spoke Spanish, but it's not a requirement.

TMFH: Match Maker, Match Maker!

Make me a match!

I'm 27.

And I did it.

I moved out of Provo.


...aaand, I signed up on match.com

Oh dear.

Just know, I did it for you.

You're welcome.

Your loving future wife,

Me

Clone me

Wish I could clone myself, and make me into three of me.
One for sleeping, one for teaching, one for living all my dreams.
So full of exhaustation. Yes, that's a word that I coined.
Careful manipulation brings me to this melting point.

I want to do everything.
I can't. No, I can't.
I have to do everything.
This ticking clock is killing me.

Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep.
I just want to
Dream, dream, dream, dream, dream.
And fall into a
Deep, deep, deep, deep, deep
Coma
But for now I breathe.