Clone me

Wish I could clone myself, and make me into three of me.
One for sleeping, one for teaching, one for living all my dreams.
So full of exhaustation. Yes, that's a word that I coined.
Careful manipulation brings me to this melting point.

I want to do everything.
I can't. No, I can't.
I have to do everything.
This ticking clock is killing me.

Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep.
I just want to
Dream, dream, dream, dream, dream.
And fall into a
Deep, deep, deep, deep, deep
Coma
But for now I breathe.

Park City In The Fall!

Fall is here! The trees are changing colors, and it's breath-taking. I took a few shots. Join the fall madness:

TMFH: Soccer

I'm super intense when it comes to soccer. Some guys can't handle my intensity. I'm glad you can.

Wait... CAN you? Bwa ha ha ha!

TMFH: Church

This past week was horrible and stressful for me. I went to church today feeling down because of it, but by the time I left I felt wonderful, full of hope and ready to tackle another week. Having a good relationship with God is the best way to cheer me up. So, if you ever see me down, pray with me, take me to church, take me to a place that will bring me closer to God.

TMFH: Car Registration

One thing I dislike about Utah is how much trouble I have to go through to register my car every year. This is why I usually avoid the process until I get a ticket for expired registration. I hope you will do this for me one day. I'm terrible at it.

TMFH: Chocolate, Dark Chocolate

Dark chocolate is divine. If you do not agree, I will gladly eat all of your dark chocolate for you. If you do agree, we can share.

TMFH: Teaching

I'm afraid the longer I am not married to you, the more I am becoming married to my job. What am I in love with? Teaching, among other things. I love helping my students learn. I guess it fulfills the human need to make a real connection with people, to help people, to have a positive impact in someone's life.

TMFH: New things

I love new things. New books. New pens. New places. New friends. New shoes.

They completely belong to me. I get to read them, annotate in the margins, and highlight my favorite parts. I get to write while the ink is still smooth and thick. I get to experience them for the first time. I get to make my own judgements. I get to wear them in to fit.

TMFH (To My Future Husband): Music

I will likely write several songs about you and inspired by you one day. Hmmm... come to think of it, it would be cool if I wrote one about you now, at least I think so. Coming soonish.

TMFH: Late nights

I was born a nocturnal creature; ask my mom. And I laugh that the profession I chose requires me to get up rather early. So, enjoying my last week of summer here, I am writing to you at 12:30 am, relatively early for me... late for a teacher.

I just think well late at night. And sometimes though I'm dog tired, I can't fall asleep because my brain is awake. If you stay up late enough with me, you'll witness my five stages of tired.
Phase1: Staring at the wall about to fall over
Phase 2: Laughing at everything and mumbling about nothing
Phase 3: Hyperactive frenzy (beware)
Phase 4: Fuzzy numb feeling in brain, achy muscles in body
Phase 5: Total collapse and peaceful, deep sleeping

TMFH

To My Future Husband,

I have a friend who started writing to her future husband about a year ago. She is now married to him. So, I figured I better get on the ball. Now that I'm writing you, I'm positive that we will discover each other soon. You will fall deeply in love with me, and then you'll realize just how quirky I am. I'm assuming you'll be equally quirky though since I will also be falling hopelessly in love with you. I'll try to write you as often as I have something to write about.

Today's topic: Singing birthday cards

Today while killing time at Walmart I encountered the most beautiful thing: a singing taco in the form of a birthday card. After five minutes of shamelessly and repeatedly obeying the tiny paper button that said "Push me. I sing.", I finally decided that I had to buy this card. Standing in the Hallmark aisle of pure genius, I tried to think of a good reason or person to buy it for, and it was then that I made an important self-discovery. Deep down I wanted to buy this taco for me. And so I did.

I've decided though that this joy was meant to be shared with others. I will therefore be singing this in my Spanish classes all year to the birthday students. And I'm likely to one day serenade you with it as well.

A preview of things to come:

The more the better

Slurpies
Some people might get just one fountain flavor pumped into their slurpie. Well, I need seven all in the same cup. Have you ever tried it? It's delicious! And you learn which flavors to stack on top of each other. For example, the Crystal Light flavors are always the most tart and therefore go well next to incredibly sweet or weak flavors such as cherry or pina colada. And you ALWAYS have to have pina colada in there somewhere.

Frozen Yogurt
Same concept. I have found a way to get 6 different flavors into one cup. I rarely am in the mood for just one.

Music
Ever had someone ask you, "So, what kind of music do you like?"
I remember as a freshman at college feeling incredibly intimidated by this question. Coming from a small Texas town where Country, Rap and Christian Rock were the 3 genres most commonly listened to, I felt like I had not yet fully explored my options to really know what I liked listening to. And so I would try taking cues from others. Often I would hear people either narrow down their preferences to a few genres or they would just names their five favorite bands. The intimidating part was the discussion which usually followed where question asker would agree or disagree with the choices. Depending on the person, you could really have to defend your selections.Well, after years of exploring genres, I have thus far concluded the following about my own music preferences.
Jazz
It's all good except for elevator type music (too smooth can be too bluh) One day I want to learn to scat.
Pop
 Love singing it. Love dancing to it. It's best quality is that it is usually upbeat.
Hip  Hop
 Dancing. It's all about moving that body with no inhibitions. Dancing to Hip Hop is my chance to feel like a diva.
Rap
 Goes well in my run mix. I can easily propel my body forward in rhythm to Snoop Dog or Drake. Ever tried dancing while running? Ever tried rapping?
R&B
 Great for singing. Great for a cool down at the end of a workout. I love the trills and the emotion.
Heavy Metal
There are very few of these songs I can tolerate. But when I find one I actually like, It is usually desired as music once every 3 years for unknown reasons. I suppose there is a dark monster in us all that occasionally needs recognition. Sometimes you've just got to scream your head off without reservation or decibel consideration.
Opera
 Andrea Bocelli anyone? I enjoy opera in foreign languages. A. Because I love foreign language. and B. You can't understand what they're singing anyways. So, it can only add to the experience.
Classical and Instrumental
Light instrumental is great for working on thinking things. In fact, I am listening to it right now. I plan lessons to it. Makes me feel smart and helps me focus my mind.
Alternative Rock
I call this boy music. I enjoy it. So do boys. I usually tap into this playlist for my guy friends. I am aware that not everyone enjoys singing to Justin Bieber, and I'm ok with that.

Travel
I once dated a guy who didn't see the point in traveling because he loved his home state so much. I was disgusted. When I was younger I used to tell people that there are two places I really want to see in my lifetime: Hawaii and Australia. They both appealed to me because of the different culture and atmosphere I might find there. I still haven't made it to either place, but I am determined to do so along with the rest of the world. Why limit it to two places when you have so many options? I literally want to travel the world and learn 10 different languages. So far I have been to every US state except about 6 and I have been to 10 countries outside the US: Mexico, Canada, England, Spain, Argentina, Chile, Bolivia, Paraguay, Uruguay and Brazil. So, if you have plans to see the world, I am more than happy to be your traveling buddy.

The Ivy Tree

A smile spread across my face.
Words entered me, and I felt whole.
And as I read, it seemed as if
The ink poured from my very soul.
A knowing friend my heart consoled.
A thoughtful gift, poetic lines
Bore into me, shot through my veins
Like ivy spreads on wilting trees.
Though parasite not proved to be
But sucked the venom out of me,
Spat out my pain, my inner doubts.
Now poison ridden, broken, free
My weak frame crumpled under me.
As drops struck through the heavy clouds
Eyes heaven raised with muttered pleas,
I cried; I wept, and rained poured down.
My Lord has not forgotten me.

Enjoying Distractions

Ever come home from work thinking, "I need a good time waster."? Because that is exactly what I came home thinking today. The funny thing is, I usually come home thinking, "How the heck am I going to get all this done?" or "Ok now I need to ... and then I'll... and then I'm off to ... and after that.... and so on." Most days I have no time for wasting time.

But today... today I wanted to waste time. I wanted to have time to waste. So, despite the pile of papers I have to grade right now, I found a wonderful, enjoyable time waster that I could not help sharing. It's simple really. All you need do if you ever find yourself in a  similar predicament is go to Youtube and type in Jerry Seinfeld. I guarantee you will not be disappointed. To save you some time though, so that you waste your wasted time wisely... here are a few gems I found today. Enjoy!

Bruised Heel?

I was bored. We were killing this team 13 to 0, and I found my self walking around the field waiting for something exciting to happen. Then suddenly I saw him break away from the very back. Kicking up black rubber beads from the turf, my feet swung swiftly in alternating rhythm as I approached him. There was no way he was going to score with only one minute remaining in this ridiculous game! I thought to myself. A final leap, I sliced the ball from his feet and hurled it out of bounds before he could chop it into the net. And in my elation and pride saving glory, I felt such pain in my foot that I immediately had to rip off my cleat. The last twenty seconds ticked away, and with them went the use of my left foot for the next month.

That was three weeks ago... my heel is still bruised. I have had to slow down quite a bit since then. No more 6 mile Saturday runs. Instead the following have ensued:. Crappy soccer playing. Daily heel icing rituals. Cold feet before bedtime. And through all of this, I have often thought of the scripture in Genesis 3:15 where the Lord tells Satan:
And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.

I'm grateful it is just my heel that was injured in that game, but it sure has hurt me. I couldn't even walk on that foot the day after it happened. Furthermore, I've lost all the running momentum I had gained through the month of January. I was breezing up hills, and 6 miles was becoming incredibly comfortable. Though this week I finally felt that with a taped heel I could run a short distance. However on my 3 mile run this Wednesday, I found myself having to walk, especially up hills. I couldn't breathe. My legs were shaky. And I still felt pain in my foot.

Going through this experience, I feel like I have greater understanding of this scripture. Getting your heel bruised is like letting Satan into your life in some way. Some examples of this are:

• You stop reading your scriptures everyday.
• You stop praying on a consistent basis... at least three times day, at least
• You stop going to church.
• You stop serving others.
• You become a commandment/covenant breaker.

And as you do these things, you become debilitated in certain ways. You grow less and less close to the Spirit of the Lord. Your heart slowly gets harder and more closed. You become more defensive, more selfish, more offended by others, more angry and more lonely, and eventually you become depressed.

But if you have bruised your heel, the good news is that it doesn't have to stay that way. Now, if I hadn't iced my heel and stayed off of it, it would have gotten worse and never healed. But, I am soon to be completely recovered from this injury, which is exactly how the Atonement of Jesus Christ works in our lives.

Though sometimes, a slow and painful process, it is possible to overcome any spiritual injury we have afflicted upon ourselves. It is possible to regain the level of spirituality we once had before. I will have to train for another month again before I can glide up those hills and breathe easily on a six mile run, but I know I will be able to accomplish it. Through repentance and obedience to God's commandments, we can slowly rebuild our faith in Jesus Christ and our ability to follow his teachings. I know he loves us, and this is why he will heal us when we allow him to.